Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
