idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
