He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize