the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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