thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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