Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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