She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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