You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
