Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We're facebook friends in real life
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
