it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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