Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize