i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
