Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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