only you would photoshop your dick
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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