Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
