I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
