paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
