let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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