I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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