I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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