I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
