nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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