Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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