I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
