i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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