I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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