oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize