piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
