we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
