Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
