Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sober January is a disaster.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
