So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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