yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
