Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
