we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
