Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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