alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize