Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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