I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
