my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
