I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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