It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
