I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
