i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
