he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
