we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize