I am in a vortex of obligation.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
