I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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