Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize