so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
