GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
