Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
