Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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