I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
