Yo dont text me then not text me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
