Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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