playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
