He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
