obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
